We've all had our eye on that one friend, at one point in our lives, where we wanted more than to be a shoulder to cry on, someone vent to, and someone to buy pizza when the other's wallet is looking a little slim, but we're stuck in between a rock and a hard place aka the friend zone.
So the most talked about question is how do we get out?
There was that one show on MTV called The Friend zone where average day people profess their love to their best friend after tricking them into coaching them for a blind date. . . and then they accept and profess their love for the other one back and skip off into the distance. But let's be realistic, chances of that actually happening and working out in your favor are slim.
So how do we realistically get out of the friend zone?! Here is my best advice. Talk to a mutual friend first and get their input on whether or not coming out is going to be a good idea, and you have to ask yourself, is it worth possibly ruining a friendship over? If they think it's a good idea, then you have to be a little. . . what's the word...? Subtle, about it. You can't just ask them on a date and profess your love right then and their, because even if the friend had an incling you had stronger feelings, unless they feel the same it leads to awkwardness/ embarrassment.
Example A: My friend zone mishap-gone RIGHT:
I was lab partners with this guy my sophomore year of high school. He was really the only one I knew in the class so I kinda jumped at the chance to have him be mine. Turns out we got a long pretty well. We were both quirky and understood the other's humor. We became fast friends. Well, the semester ended and we were no longer in science together, but we still kept a pretty strong friendship. We hung out more often, went to the same youth group on Mondays, and talked to each other in the hallways. I never thought he was interested in me. May rolled around and it was during prom when I helped him pick out a corsage for his date, he started acting a little differently towards me. He would give me really enthusiastic hugs every time he saw me, and would actually flirt. We hung out a majority of the summer and I started getting a feeling there was more to his side of the story then a friendship. One day when hanging out with another guy friend, and LO (LO-=ode name) my ex lab partner, got brought up in a conversation. "He think he's in love with you" he laughed. "Wait, Lo thinks he's in love with me?" I remarked confused. Awkward. He was always the kind of goofy guy who I never thought of in that way. "Yeah, ha we were down by the river and he was like "Dude, I think I'm in love with Liesl."Okay... quick. If you're going to tell a friend about you feelings for your friend. . . make sure they don't just blurt it out to them casually one day. It's not only going to end badly for you, but it makes the other person feel awkward... and slightly ruin your chances.
Anyways back to the story. After hearing this news things changed a bit. I noticed more and more his attitude changing from friendly "dude-friend" gestures to affectionate ones. Caught off guard a little, I distanced myself. The new school year began and I knew he would ask me to homecoming. A little nervous because of the difference in feelings, I accepted with hesitance. He left from the dance early and I met up with him a while later at a party going on afterwards. We had both had a few drinks when he took me on the balcony alone. Here it comes. And right then and there, underneath the moonlight of a snowy October night, he told me he loved me. Not quite sure how to react I told him it wasn't the right time for me, and that I cared about him but not in that way. He understood, and we went about the night doing what normal people at parties do. In a... not so.. "with it" state, I ended up making out with this guy who I barely even knew (and who was a total dirt bag). Let's just say LO was not too happy. It only ended in tears and screaming/yelling and before I knew it, that was kind of the end of our friendship for a while.
Being bitter towards one another was pretty hard for the next oh... 5 months. It wasn't until February that we began talking again. Assuming it would only remain a friendship or mutual acquaintance style relationship, I was shocked to find he still had feelings for me, and funny enough it was at our high schools winter formal. A little taken aback yet again, I talked with my best friend about the situation. I did care about him, and maybe there were feelings there. But I was scared. She gave me the advice to follow my heart; so I did. We ended up being together close to 5 months I think, and not to mention it was a fairly healthy relationship. Even more so, even though we're broken up, we still talk on a regular basis and have remained really close friends!
So moral of the story? Don't always count out the people in your friend zones, for they could be the ones truly worth your while. And for those of you stuck in the friend zone. . . Don't give up trying to get out. Perhaps your first attempt might end badly but that doesn't mean there still isn't hope! I believe in you :)
No comments:
Post a Comment