Kiss My.....

Kissing... Yummmm!! Who doesn't love a hot steamy kiss? With a good kisser of course. Kisses are what really make a relationship, not sex. First kisses are always special and unforgettable. We all remember exactly where, how old we were, and who it was with , so kisses are a huge deal! But what do his kisses actually mean? Seriously?! We all have attempted analyzing what "forehead kisses" and the "ass grab" first kiss mean. So let's put it into an actual generalized kissing dictionary.

What does it mean when....

His first kiss is soft or "peck" like:
He's probably pretty shy, or doesn't go out with girls as often as the other. As long as your time together went pretty well, he's probably really into you. It may be surprising, but like 9/10 he is. A subtle gesture like this let's you know he's got a little fling for you, but he wants you to know he respects your boundaries. He probably doesn't want to push it and seem too forward and scare you off. So take it as a sweet gesture and move on with it! Definitely don't freak out. He's just more chivalrous then the others.

If the time you two did spend together though wasn't as planned, there just wasn't chemistry but he didn't want to leave you hangin. So buck up and move onto the next one.

Ass/boob grab:

You two have bangin sexual chemistry, but, as simple as he so blatantly grabbed... he just wants you for you bod. He is literally just trying to get a piece of ass. The move is fine if you're hooking up, or your dating whatever, but just know it's his little way of saying "I want to do it with you, so I'm going to "sneakily" show you." Yeah not so sneaky.  And unless you're actually going to; mellow out, and tell him to do the same. Otherwise it's going to get real awkward real fast, and he's going to pretty....blue... about the whole misunderstanding.

Classic arms around the waist, neck, shoulders, etc:
He's into you and the kiss. He's not feeling too romantic but not trying to pressure you either. It's a good happy-medium, and the most generic form/stance. It's safe but comfortable, so no one really feels out of place.

Face/neck-grab:
SWOON!! If you face grab, especially double face grab, brownie points to you my friend. You know what you are doing! When someone kisses us (and I'm mainly talking girls here) and they grab our faces? It literally melts us like butter. We feel safe and secure and wanted in the space of your manly hands. It's soft yet aggressive. You're taking control of the kiss but it's in the softest, most romantic way. More guys should use this technique, cause whether you really like the girl or not, it's gonna get you a lot farther than you think. Cause even when a girl isn't that into a kiss, and a guy goes for the face grab. . . it's a game changer. TRUST ME.

Kiss on the forehead:

No one who recieves this really know what it means, but boy do we find it sweet and just like face-grabs...swoon! It's always a mystery why girls find these kisses so affectionate, but then again their one of those gestures that mean a thousand words. If you read any magazine or Q:A about these babies, the same response usually occurs. "He's just being affectionate", but I think there is always a little more to the story. Forehead kisses are ones that make you feel safe and secure. Like you're important. So don't take them for granite, and be sure to tell your man how much you like them, or that you feel special when he does that. . . because you know we all do. Don't try to deny it cause then you'd be a liar.

PD-You make me want to throw up

I do not need you sucking face right in front of me, in the middle of the day, before every class, when you're going to see the other person an hour later. EW. PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!

Look, I'm a girl here whose all about affection. I love holding hands, and hugging, and kissing, and all the other mumbo jumbo that comes along with dating and love and relationships, But I don't want to see the trailer for your bedroom action ON MY WAY TO CLASS. It's disgusting and have some modesty!! You need to tone that shit down. Peck before class? Fine! Holding hands to class? Fine! But you don't need to freaking molest one another in public. I don't like it and neither does anyone else. And I KNOW I can hear the hallelujah chorus sayin' Amen to that!

I'm all for public displays of affection, It's cute, and if you have yourself a man/women, good for you! And you should flaunt it! But in respectful amounts... okay?

Here's how to tell what's too much or what is acceptable PDA; and what you should be allowed to do based on how long you've been dating.

This is a don't unless you're actually
in this setting. 

Making out- Okay first off, where are you?

Are you in the middle of a hallway with hundreds of other people walking by? In the middle of the day? Total Don't! The rest of the world can tell you like one another based off a simple peck or subtle kiss. It doesn't need to be like 30 seconds long, with tongue and hair grabbing. You're not going away to war, you're going to class or work. You wont be separated for too long... I think you'll live.

Let's change the scenery. 

Is it dark/dim outside? Are you alone or surrounded by a few people? Are you at a party? If you answered yes to any of these then please! Continue! This is totally acceptable. You're just enjoying a romantic time, or maybe you're really horny and have the hots for someone at a party. If everyone else around you is having a good time, and it's night, and you're doing your thing, by all means go ahead. Just don't get too into it. Like I said, public (appropriate) displays of affection are totally adorbs, anything past that... get a freaking room.

Pecking- Acceptable any time of the day. Boom. Moving on.

Pecking is totally cute
and a kiss on the cheek
is totally endearing

Holding Hands- Acceptable any time of the day, anywhere. Just like pecking. Boom. Moving on

Touching/cuddling-  Just like making out. . . where are you?
If you're in a really public place and it's the middle of the day, or even the evening, please be conservative with HOW much cuddling you do. Snuggling up to one another on a park bench. . . please proceed. Sitting on someones lap? That ones gets a little tricky. Unless there is a total lack of seats around, or you're literally just using his lap to sit on, that's fine. It doesn't bother me that much, just don't get all grabby grabby with one another. It's awkward.

Mimic the adorable old couples you
see. Why wait till you're old?

That goes into touching. How much touching is acceptable? Putting your arm around someone.. fine! Hugging? Fine. Even a quick smack on the ass can be endearing and flirty and cute. Totally appropriate. But leave the groping and monkey business to your own time. Don't like pet at one another and grab each other in areas I, a total stranger/ third party outsider, find awkward catching you grab.

Sex-  Unless you're checking off something on your sexual bucket lists or are just total exhibitionist nudists... Don't ever do this in public. Thank you.

How long have you been dating?

Couple weeks- Okay you're PDA should be at it's minimum. You may have known each other for a while now, but considering you're finally committing to one another, leave all the hot stuff for home. I realize you're in the newly weds-honeymooner stage, whatever they call it. But listen up, you two will now be spending a lot more time together, so don't waist all the gas before you get there, deal?

Couple Months- You're starting to get pretty serious about one another, I know where you are. You're starting to feel comfortable talking about things and doing things around one another, but as far as your PDA goes, keep it on the more conservative side please. I realize you may be starting to feel feelings for the other like you never did before, and that's great! Just make sure you aren't showing too much to the rest of the world ey?

Couple Years- You're probably used to being around each other so often you don't need to flaunt your lust and affection to one another all the time. Mostly, you hardly do in public. So I guess just keep doing what you're doing. But don't get so comfortable you forget to show anything at all.

The Friendzone... May the odds be ever in your favor

The Friend zone... Aka the most controversial state of humanity. Okay maybe that's a little dramatic, but we've all been there. Don't deny it.

We've all had our eye on that one friend, at one point in our lives, where we wanted more than to be a shoulder to cry on, someone vent to, and someone to buy pizza when the other's wallet is looking a little slim, but we're stuck in between a rock and a hard place aka the friend zone.

So the most talked about question is how do we get out?

There was that one show on MTV called The Friend zone where average day people profess their love to their best friend after tricking them into coaching them for a blind date. . . and then they accept and profess their love for the other one back and skip off into the distance. But let's be realistic, chances of that actually happening and working out in your favor are slim.


So how do we realistically get out of the friend zone?! Here is my best advice. Talk to a mutual friend first and get their input on whether or not coming out is going to be a good idea, and you have to ask yourself, is it worth possibly ruining a friendship over? If they think it's a good idea, then you have to be a little. . . what's the word...? Subtle, about it. You can't just ask them on a date and profess your love right then and their, because even if the friend had an incling you had stronger feelings, unless they feel the same it leads to awkwardness/ embarrassment.

Example A: My friend zone mishap-gone RIGHT:

I was lab partners with this guy my sophomore year of high school. He was really the only one I  knew in the class so I kinda jumped at the chance to have him be mine. Turns out we got a long pretty well. We were both quirky and understood the other's humor. We became fast friends. Well, the semester ended and we were no longer in science together, but we still kept a pretty strong friendship. We hung out more often, went to the same youth group on Mondays, and talked to each other in the hallways. I never thought he was interested in me. May rolled around and it was during prom when I helped him pick out a corsage for his date, he started acting a little differently towards me. He would give me really enthusiastic hugs every time he saw me, and would actually flirt. We hung out a majority of the summer and I started getting a feeling there was more to his side of the story then a friendship.  One day when hanging out with another guy friend, and LO (LO-=ode name) my ex lab partner, got brought up in a conversation. "He think he's in love with you" he laughed. "Wait, Lo thinks he's in love with me?" I remarked confused. Awkward. He was always the kind of goofy guy who I never thought of in that way. "Yeah, ha we were down by the river and he was like "Dude, I think I'm in love with Liesl."

Okay... quick. If you're going to tell a friend about you feelings for your friend. . . make sure they don't just blurt it out to them casually one day. It's not only going to end badly for you, but it makes the other person feel awkward... and slightly ruin your chances.

Anyways back to the story. After hearing this news things changed a bit. I noticed more and more his attitude changing from friendly "dude-friend" gestures to affectionate ones. Caught off guard a little, I distanced myself. The new school year began  and I knew he would ask me to homecoming. A little nervous because of the difference in feelings, I accepted with hesitance. He left from the dance early and I met up with him a while later at a party going on afterwards. We had both had a few drinks when he took me on the balcony alone. Here it comes. And right then and there, underneath the moonlight of a snowy October night, he told me he loved me. Not quite sure how to react I told him it wasn't the right time for me, and that I cared about him but not in that way. He understood, and we went about the night doing what normal people at parties do. In a... not so.. "with it" state, I ended up making out with this guy who I barely even knew (and who was a total dirt bag). Let's just say LO was not too happy. It only ended in tears and screaming/yelling and before I knew it, that was kind of the end of our friendship for a while.

Being bitter towards one another was pretty hard for the next oh... 5 months. It wasn't until February that we began talking again. Assuming it would only remain a friendship or mutual acquaintance style relationship, I was shocked to find he still had feelings for me, and funny enough it was at our high schools winter formal. A little taken aback yet again, I talked with my best friend about the situation. I did care about him, and maybe there were feelings there. But I was scared. She gave me the advice to follow my heart; so I did. We ended up being together close to 5 months I think, and not to mention it was a fairly healthy relationship. Even more so, even though we're broken up, we still talk on a regular basis and have remained really close friends!

So moral of the story? Don't always count out the people in your friend zones, for they could be the ones truly worth your while. And for those of you stuck in the friend zone. . . Don't give up trying to get out. Perhaps your first attempt might end badly but that doesn't mean there still isn't hope! I believe in you :)

Wait. . . What?

TO ALL THE NICE GUYS OUT THERE... THIS ONES FOR YOU!

Dear nice boys out there. . .
Where are you?! And Where have you been all my life?!
-Sincerely,
Every female in the world.

How many of you ladies out there are looking for a nice guy? Everybody? Alright, Awesome, glad we're in the same boat! We are constantly searching for a genuine nice guy whose not afraid of chivalry, and being a gentlemen. We think we find one and then in someway or somehow our hopes get stomped on. Mostly because it was just a facade and he actually is a huge dirt bag, or sadly there's just no chemistry, or we just don't think they're interested.

I feel like we don't try to look for guys who treat us badly, it's just what we settle for. "We accept the love we think we deserve" (Perks of Being a Wallflower) But why can't we feel like we deserve a nice guy?!

ALSO! To all the nice guys out there, if you like us... here's a hint of advice:
Be aggressive and show us that you care! I honestly don't know how many times I've totally had the hots for a guy because of how genuine and sweet and funny he was, only to give up because I thought he wasn't interested... then months later after I move on from the let down. . . HE'S LIKED ME THE WHOLE TIME! WHAT?! CAN YOU REWIND AND REPEAT PLEASE?!
"Yeah I've liked you this whole time!" Excuse me while I spit my water out in surprise! You have?! And yes, sometimes the guys is lucky and you still feel the same, but feeling rejected HURTS, and a lot of times we've already blocked you out emotionally to numb the pain. So, if you meet a really nice girl, or begin looking at a friend in a new light then before. . . If you think there could be anything more to the friendship, TELL HER. Or else it could be too little too late.

In the Words of Lady Gaga...

BOYS! BOYS! BOYS!

What is is with women and our obsession with men? I mean, I myself am one of the guiltiest. . . But seriously?! We like boys in cars, buy us drinks in bars, with hairspray and denim... we love them! Now, I guess to fully understand our "deepest passion" boys, we must talk about the different types of boys. And the most prominent on EVERY girls mind....

Douche-Bags:
My, my, my... sound familiar doesn't it? Let's face it, we've all had our share. SERIOUSLY, CAN A GIRL HALLA! Whether it was a long time boyfriend *cough cough* you know who you are; or the random hookup in the bar where he promised he would call you the next morning and then doesn't. Whether we see it coming right off the bat, or don't find out until a long while later, they're around, and almost everywhere. It's hard not to be fooled by they're devastating good looks, banging smile and charm, and irresistible bad boy disposition. . . . but these babies are wolfs in sheep's clothing, not the cat's pajamas.

So now we decode:
Everyone says that the reason us girls stick around to deal with these "sticks in the mud" is so we can "change them." For a girl who has been there, that theory...? NOT. I mean perhaps there are women out there, where that is their actual intention, but let's be honest here... more often then not, not really the case! I think we have just been taught that's what's attractive. That boy you can't have, the one your parents wont approve of... it's forbidden. I mean Eve couldn't resist the juicy apple could she? Well seems like we can't resist these ones either. It's engraved into our system. It's the fact that we actually have to try to be with them. We want to be treated like princesses and with respect, and the fact that we don't get it all the time makes us crazy! Everyone wants what they can't have, and the fact we need to wear something a little sexier, and put on that extra layer of lip gloss or mascara makes it all the more fun.

Bad boys, Bad boys. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Sure he's going to put his leather jacket around you when it's cold outside, text you sweet nothings into the early hours of the morning, and when you wake up. Every once in a while he'll surprise you with strawberries or flowers and be the teddy bear you needed after a long day. I mean douche-bags can't be douche-bags all the time. That would be exhausting. But we need to look past that. Take your friends advice every once in a while, because they're the ones actually looking out for your best interest. Do they like him, or are they always yelling at you about how much he sucks? It might be hard distancing yourself when you know that deep down underneath he's actually a sweetheart, but are you waisting your time waiting for those moments? How does he treat his mom, whether it's via telephone or in person? How does he treat the waiter at the bar or the checkout lady at the store? These can be huge tell-tale signs. Is he focusing more on you or his friends? (Now don't get me wrong here, I'm a pretty independent girl, and believes every guy needs his dude-time). . . but is his dude time all the time? If so... honey he is NOT for you. If any of these questions were anything but total gentleman or "occasionally moody after a long day" then those are huge warning signs! RED FLAG! CODE ORANGE! Get out! If he isn't making sure you feel respected or appreciated then he is not worth your time. And if you're madly in love with him, and want 10 million of his babies. . . then sweetheart you've got some damn stamina.

If you can't fathom to leave him:

Then you've got to beat him at his own game. If he's distancing himself from you, then distance yourself from him. When he texts you to hang out because he can't find anything better to do (and you know what I'm talking about here ladies) as much as you want to spend that one on one time, tell him you're busy with your girlfriends and he should have made better plans. It'll drive him nuts he's not your number one priority either. Be flirty about affection. When he wants to have a hot make out sesh on the couch, give him a little taste then get up to go make some tea or dinner, and leave him hanging. Get a new sexy dress and wear it out next time your with him. Try out a new perfume and have him come in close to smell your neck, the pull back and flirtatiously say "Thanks" and act like nothing happened. You'll have him begging for attention and he'll think twice before treating you poorly again.

All the Single Ladies! And The rest of you!

Well hello there! You have happened to stumble upon my blog! This blog is for all of you single ladies, and for those of you in relationships. . .My advice. It seems as women, we are constantly faced with all the struggles in the world; and more often than not, the haunting ghost known as MEN. Now, what does an 18 year old girl in the middle of nowhere, Colorado have to offer you? I mean, granite, I've only been able to snag myself one real/official boyfriend for the long extent of 5 months; however, I've had my share of crying friends and older sisters, to compensate for my lack of "experience". I would call myself a relationship guru, however, I'm not quite sure that's an adequate label. But. . . as a completely third party outsider to you're needs, devastation's, and gloating rights, I'm here! So soak it up :). I believe we're going to become fast friends. And I hope you can be as honest with me as I am with you. And if you're a dude reading this, listen up to what us ladies have to say! You may not like it, but you might actually get some really good tips! So auf-weidersehen for now! I'm so glad we got to meet.
xoxo-
Liesl

P.S those of you who are wondering how you say my name... You pronounce it Lee-suhl. :) Okay! Have a GREAT day.