Confidence is Key
Growing up I have always been taught that with confidence and courage you can achieve almost anything. If you believe it, you can achieve it, and other cliches like that. Confidence is sexy.
When dealing with new people in your life, or even people that you've been with for a while, it is crucial to be confident in yourself and your actions. You have to work for what you want, and if they are someone that you really want, then putting yourself out there and on the line is inevitable. No one gets what they want just sitting around and doing nothing about it. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. There is no room for stage fright when it comes to relationships, only butterflies.
Yes, liking someone new is scary and trying to get yourself on their radar is always a step out of the normal comfort zone is well, uncomfortable but its ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. You gotta put yourself out there, get on their radar, and say "Hey! Look at me!" So, like always, I got some tips and insight for you.
The Medicine?
Baby Steps
The first thing you need to evaluate is what you want from this person. Are you looking for more of a friendship? To introduce yourself? To hookup? To date? Figure that out first, and move on from there. However. . . for any of these. . . Just get on their radar! Are they in your class? Go sit down next to them and talk to them! I'm sure if you asked a pretty girl or cute guy if you could sit next to them and introduced yourself, they're going to be more than flattered. The first move is always one of the most important. Let's say now, that you have been talking to each other for a while, or at least know each other well enough as acquaintances . . . but you want to move on further than that; you should ask them to hang out! The worst thing that can happen is they say no, which I guess if you look at it, depending on how much you like them, could be upsetting, but on the bright side, at least they aren't leading you on. More often then not though, they're going to say yes. Here is the important thing though, make sure you're asking them to hang out and do something fun! No one wants to do chemistry homework for fun, and although that's an easy out, push yourself! If you stay in your shy bubble and only associate them with school work because you're too nervous, you're never going to get what you want out of it. Sure sometimes we fall for our lab partners, but I'm sure real love didn't come out of an algebra equation.
Going with Flow
Congrats! You have now made it past the awkward ice breaker move and have now started talking to this person you like. The stage now is just to go with the flow, and if you like them, keep being persistent. If you want to talk to them don't be hesitant about it! Obviously if they keep responding then they like talking to you just as much as you like talking to them. I feel like our generation feels so insecure with talking to people for the sake of being clingy, or not talking to people enough because we want to seem reserved and cool. "Am I annoying them? I have to wait at least 10 minutes to open this text messages so they don't think I'm too eager." I think... that.... is BS. If you want to talk to a person talk to them! Don't play games no one wants to play. You aren't Chuck and Blaire from Gossip Girl, and it's not fun. Be confident in your situation, and address your insecurities with courage! I believe in you and it's time you believed in yourself. Let's face it, we're simple minded creatures. We either A. Over analyze things or B. Don't analyze them at all.
If you're only asking to do things like homework with this person, or only texting them occasionally, they aren't going to think you're really interested further than that. Be confident that you are a dime piece, and someone worth wanting (because you are). Don't be afraid to flirt a little, tell them how you feel, an to talk to them! Everyone wants to feel wanted.
Actions Speak Louder than Words
Too relevant: Don't be afraid to let your actions speak louder than your words! If you care about this person then show them! I'm not saying you have to go and splurge on a bouquet of flowers (even though that is a great gesture *cough cough guys cough cough*) but a simple homemade meal, or taking a night to relax with your significant other because they're stressed can go a long way. Sometimes It's nice and more meaningful to stay in and be together than to go out like you originally planned. I'm sure if a guy asked me to come over just to make me a simple (even ramen) dinner, and to watch a movie, I would be way more touched then a nice dinner out. Not that thats not important or I wouldn't accept that, but the little things are what counts because one day they may become big things. Keep things spontaneous and be courageous with your actions. If you did something own up to it, or if you want to do something do it! The only person keeping yourself from what you want is you! Don't let you become an obstacle.
Don't Confuse Confidence with Cockiness
At least for me, there is a thick line between confidence and cockiness. Confidence is going up to that cute person at a party or in your class and starting a conversation; Cockiness is doing the same thing and then bragging about something during it. Yes, I care that you're athletic. No, I don't care how much you dead lifted this morning at the gym. Yes, he cares that you look pretty tonight. No, he doesn't care that your bag someone just spilt beer on was $400. Confidence is sexy, cockiness is not. It's never okay to compromise who you are, and sometimes cockiness is just over-exuberated confidence, but remember humbleness is also sexy. Now you probably just went, "You just totally contradicted you're entire post." I guess in a way you could think that, but at least for this little section It's true. Be confident in yourself, but don't be an unapproachable, unlikeable confident. You just come across as an asshole.
I guess the moral of this whole story, is be yourself, don't compromise who you are, but be confident! You are you for a reason, and you have the power to be whoever you want to be! You're one hot piece of pie and I think it's time you embrace it!! Boom.
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