Well EX-cuse me

We've all had ex's. Now the word ex's always brings a certain feeling to everybody. For some of mine, it's the feeling of total disgust, others fondness, others sadness; It just depends on the person. But some of mine never seem to go away, and always, in someway or somehow bother me for more. I'm not being narcissistic when I say this, I don't really believe my ex's never got over me, and desperately want me again. . . I'm just saying, every once in a while one pops up at the most inconvenient time, always wanting something.

Let me just tell you this though, I'm fed up! And if you're an ex reading this, I'm not necessarily fed up with you personally, I'm just fed up with some of the BS you pull on me.

For all you people out there who have had to deal with ex problems, then this is for you, cause I say enough already! This needs to quit! Why must you taunt us with mixed signals? Are we friend or foe? Do you want me do you not want me? What is the deal? I just want an answer!
:( #FRUSTRATED.

THINGS YOUR EX'S DO & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

1.Put the moves on you post break-up:

I think this one is the most occurring, most confusing, and most frustrating thing ever! We broke up for a reason. . . what are you doing?! [Especially when they're the ones who broke up with YOU]. Ummmm hello???? Do you still have feelings for me....? Is this entertainment for you...? Why are you doing this....? Some of the million thoughts that run through our mind when this happens. I get that there will always be chemistry between you, and sometimes it's hard to fight, but really avoiding this is for the best. Unless they have real intentions of getting back together, as harmless and nostalgic as it is to flirt, don't play into this. It's not worth your time, and it's not going to change anything. It's just going to mix up your feelings for one another, and before you know it, one person still has feelings for the other, and it turns into a huge ole mess.

Example:

My boyfriend and I broke up at the beginning of summer, and it was pretty mutual. We got together one afternoon to talk and both knew where it was going. There was still chemistry, but it was just time. That night we were at a party, when I was about to leave, I went in for a hug, you know, to show we could still be friends. . . turns out it wouldn't end like that. Nope, he went in for a full on kiss, and I'm talking like a we didn't break up a couple of hours ago, and we're still together kiss. It totally threw me off. I stopped mid way and was like "Wait, this is confusing." And his response? "So..?" OKAY, WHAT THE HELL?!

What to do about it:

As much as you want to pretend like "Oh it's just one time" and "It's not that big of a deal" No! Do not fool yourself, it is a big deal and you know it. When they pull this kind of BS on you, it's not okay! It's not one time! That just means your opening all new doors to things that are going to make your life confusing and miserable. Okay, perhaps a bit dramatic, but I'm serious! It's going to make them think it's okay to play with your feelings, an that they still have power over you. No one really moves on from the break up because their always going to remain an option in your mind.
If this happens you need to man or woman up and tell them how you feel. As dumb as you may seem, it's the best and only way. Straight up ask them how they feel about you. If their response isn't "I made a mistake I want to get back together 100% , right now" then it's good you caught it early on. This has happened to me, and I never did anything about it, thinking it was okay. Little did I know, I would spend another few months of my life wondering what their reasoning was behind it. When I finally got up the courage to ask it was "because it was convenient for them, and I was someone they still had good chemistry with, and knew what they were doing with." Wow, not the reaction I was hoping for! Well hello! Most of the time that's going to be the reaction for you. So when something like this comes along, nip it in the bud and call them out on it. Or else you're in for a whole lot of trouble.

2. Are total d-bags when the break-up, so you thought, ended smoothly:

They're probably just butt hurt, or don't want you to feel like there is still a connection, or both. Or they really are just a jerk.
 I don't know if I'll understand why, but to the best of my ability I'll contribute to solving the mystery. So let's go with the first one. Even though you're broken up, you will always have some sort of feelings for the other. Maybe they're buried way deep down, like you'd shed a tear if they died, but hey! That still counts! ....So they're butt hurt (upset). Sometimes during break ups that we think went smoothly, there are unresolved, and un...stated feelings. A lot of times, we don't want to seem like the desperate one, so we just casually agree that breaking up is the best, even when we disagree. You state that you will continue to be friends, but it takes time and effort to actually be comfortable with the idea. If it's within a two week radius or so of post break-up-ness, I'd just let it slide, it'll probably blow over sooner than you think.
Signs/Symptoms of being butt hurt:
1. Bitter behavior (i.e snappy remarks, mean jokes, etc.)
2. Mood-swings (i.e being totally happy and then totally crabby two seconds later)
3. Ignoring (don't respond)
4. It's been a while, I'll get back to you on more signs/symptoms

Cures:
1. Time

Okay, moving on. . .Option: they don't want you to feel like there is still a connection. This one basically explains itself. As totally immature, and stupid this one sounds, it makes sense. Even though you broke up, and it went smoothly, no one wants to pull a #1. (Puts moves on you post break up). Although a friendly gesture could totally just be a friendly gesture, post break up sometimes could send unintentional, mixed signals. Being in a relationship changes a lot of things, even when we don't want it to. You begin over analyzing everything your ex does and what it means. The best way to sort this one out is to just to talk to them and reassure them you're just friends, and you know that. When they feel comfortable and assured that you know it's now just a friendship, they'll stop being so awkward, jerky, and cautious about what they're doing.
Signs/Symptoms:
1. Signs/symptoms of being butt hurt
2. Continues for a while
3. Bragging about hook-ups
4. Treating you as much like "one of the guys/girls" as possible



Cures:
1. Confrontation (the reassuring kind, not sloppy drunk girl kind)
2. Get a new significant other
3. Time...

Last but not least, they really are just a jerk. If they're just being completely insincere to you in all ways, then sweetheart you should be glad you're not with them anymore. They're too immature to be a normal human being and treat your feelings with respect. Don't take it too personally, they're just an idiot.

3. They act like you've never dated or been together:

I can understand this one, and I don't think just because you've dated someone, and it didn't work out you should automatically brand them with EX, but acknowledging the fact once in a while doesn't kill you, does it? I agree that once you've broken up, if you remain friends, you should focus more on the fact that you're friends, but the fact you were together shouldn't just be brushed under the rug. Sometimes it's important to verify, clarify, and remember. Whether it worked out or not, people like to be acknowledged for being someone special. It's healthy and normal. I know when I don't even get credited for being a medium-termed girlfriend, it's kind of a bummer. I don't want to be referred to that all the time, but if you're going to associate with me, the fact we dated shouldn't really be thrown out of the "list of memories and good times" if you know what I mean.

Example:
My sister and her boyfriend were both associated with the Greek life at college. When my ex boyfriend went to school, he called me one night he was going to a frat party. He told me he was going to the same house my sister's boyfriend's apart of and asked if he could name drop to help him "make some friends" or at least converse with people. When asked what he would say if he got a reaction his response was something along the lines of  "Oh yeah, I know her sister. Or like I hooked up with her sister. Or I'm friends with her sister." Haha, glad I was so much more to you in our relationship than a hookup? Um okay?

 Like I said, it shouldn't be a permanent label or really an important one at that, but when appropriate, it should be acknowledged damnit! You wouldn't refer to a pet dog as "this random dog living in your house for a while" No! So don't forget us ex's exist too! Especially when you begin seeing other people, they should know you have a history, whether it's important to you or not. And if they meet so called history they should know who you are, even if it doesn't matter anymore. I rest my case.

What to do about it:
There's really nothing you can do unless it really bothers you, then I guess confront it? But just remember for when your exs roll around.