Maybe He's Just Not That Into You

Holy 2500 page views since March? You guys are awesome :) Anyways I want to say Happy Summer! I have been a crazy busy lady, as I assume most of you have been as well. Well maybe not the lady part, but you know what I mean!

As we kick off-ish the summer, I thought it was only appropriate to touch on a subject close to home. Not to mention you're now headed into another brand new part of your life. New classes, new friends, new schools, new adventures. Out with the old and in with the new! But a little prerequisite advice never hurt anyone, did it? No, I didn't think so either. Anyways, here we go! And like always, sorry it's been a while.

Maybe... 

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. Hi. This one is souly dedicated to you. We have all had our share of man candy, as one might say. As women we luckily have a little step up from the guys on the level that it's  easier for us to grab some guy's attention in some way or another. We're mysterious creatures, and guys find that intriguing about us, so usually, that alone is a little bit of bait. However, once you've got them hooked, how do you know when he's dying to go back to the sea? Well if you don't, or still have some trouble figuring it out, I am going to break it down for you. Mainly because you're my girls, and I love you. . . (and also, I don't want you to be that desperate-clingy girl that can't take a hint. No one wants to see a girl struggle like that. I don't care who you are.) 

For guys, it's all about the chase. Whether they admit it, believe it, or not. . . it is. Now I'm not singling you men out there out. . . Everybody does it. Everybody wants what they can't have. It goes back to biblical times my friend. Eve couldn't resist the apple, it's engraved into our system. But I think as women we like to have the chase, and once they've proven their stamina, we then slow our pace. Now don't get me wrong, that is not a bad thing at all, but I'm just warning, that can be a downfall to some point. 

When a guy starts losing interest in us, we go into a bit of a panic mode. What did I do wrong? Why isn't he responding? He totally loves what's her face now! Mer Mer Mer. GIRL. Calm down  pa-lease. It's not you. . . really. . . sometimes it is. . . but it's not you! People lose focus, go through phases, test drives. It's natural. He's obviously not your prince charming if he didn't decide to stick around. But any of the way, I know it's hard. I've been there, and because I have (many times), I have put together all my knowledge and experience to give you some guidelines on how to tell, and how you should react. 

So Waaaalllaaaaa!! 

Signs he is NOT interested: 

1. He stops returning your calls, texts, messages, etc:

This one can be a little tricky at times. If you're having great conversation(s) and all of a sudden he stops. . . Do not panic. Take a moment and breathe. Put your phone, computer, whatever it is you're using to talk to this guy down and away. You will do something drastic and crazy if you don't. 

Reason/step number 1: If he says he's busy, or mentions that he has something big going on, he probably just doesn't have the time, or mental focus to make you a priority at the moment. Give it a day, maybe two depending on how often you talk, and then send something. If you still receive no reply then we go to. . .

Reason/step number 2: He is losing interest in you. Don't take it too personally, you are probably just not what he's looking for (but it doesn't mean you aren't someone else's). You gave it a little test drive, and he realized he wanted the Ford F150 and not the Chevy Tahoe. I don't know. It's just his preference. It's not your fault and you shouldn't go to crazy and desperate lengths to talk to him. Here is my advice: I give him 5-7 days depending on his initial communication skills. If he's already a bad communicator, I tend to give a little grace and go for the 7, but if he's an Eager Eddy, and would usually send you morning texts, calls, etc, then take it down to 5. If you're not wanting to seem like that obsessive, crazy, clingy girl we mentioned earlier, the fact you are texting him every day and multiple times is not going to help your case against that. . . or help at all. If anything it's going to annoy him more, and you're going to look desperate. 

Enjoy your life, do other things, and if he still hasn't taken the time to talk to your beautiful self, then say Sayonara to that guy and go find yourself someone better. Yeah he's cute and his morning texts were adorable and made you smile; but he's moved on, and so should you.

2. He Starts Spending A Lot of Time With His Friends:

Okay, this is only relevant if you two are basically, or actually, together. If you're spending a bunch of time together, and then all of a sudden he decides he's going to spend two solid weeks with his dudes and not you. . . Perhaps you should start unpacking the ice cream. If a guy is balancing you with his friends, or explains that he's been missing out on some stuff, then by all means, let the man go! You shouldn't be the complete priority of his time, and he shouldn't be the complete priority of your time either. A relationship is healthy when both sides feel comfortable being apart and with other people (Friends here, not friends with benefits *cough cough*). However, if he is now just balancing dude time with dude time, get some bubble wrap, and prepare yourself for the crash landing :(

3. He uses cliche lines with you:

Oh honey. If he starts telling you "You're such a great friend" or "I need me time" .......Do I really need to say more? Just.. Just take a moment. Yeah. GTFO. There is no reason for you to be spending your pretty little time in that. You basically just got told he isn't interested. Don't think that he just needs time to himself. Time to himself my butt! Yeah time to himself with the other girl from the party last Friday. . . yeah. . . time to himself. If you're here, keep your beautiful chin high, because he obviously doesn't know what he walked out on. Pick up your pride, and leave. There is no other moral justification for you to stay anymore. Show him what he's missing out on. 

Speed Round Rules:

1. Do not over communicate. Yes, 8 text messages in a row is too much and too crazy. 

2. Take your time. Let him chase you, and keep giving him reasons too

3. Keep it exciting. Don't get in the same boring conversations. Find new subjects, etc. 

4. Make sure Dude-time and You-time are equal

5. Get out if he uses one liners. 

6. Stay updated with what he's doing. But do not stalk. It's creepy. 

7. Be the amazing woman you are. Don't change for a guy who changed his mind. 

8. Keep your menus open (especially if you're single)

9. It's not your fault. It's just his preference

10. Know when to swallow your pride and move on